Hey, people :)
Yeah, it's me. Your former favorite blogger friend. I haven't been here since February, although it feels like so much longer. I've thought about it often, though. I've missed being here.
(I've written a few things during that time, but didn't have the guts to post them. They're very personal, heavy, straight from the heart. I'll probably share eventually.)
So hey, I'm here now to give a run down + photo dump of what's been going on since I disappeared. Buckle up. ;)
• • • February
At this point, school was still insane. My winter semester was super heavy. Bought bell bottoms. Did school in the car parked at the library a lot because internet at home terrible and the library was still closed because #covid soooo. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
• • • March
Work started back up. A class on food prep/safety/service. Long walks in the cow pasture. Lots of painful memories showing up in my photos <3 A last minute trip to Kansas to see my people.
• • • April
Spring's arrival. Long, peaceful evenings sitting in the yard eating pasta and studying psychology. Campus sunsets. Work and housesitting and study study studying. Quick trip to Florida for my friend's wedding + getting to be a bridesmaid <33
• • • May
Finishing the spring semester and diving into the summer semester less than two weeks later (someone save me). Attending yet another wedding (ahaha). Binging a new crime show. The NC gas shortage making life a little extra-stressy for a few days there. Buying new swimsuits because SUMER IS A CUMIN. Got jury duty summons and freakin loved it. More housesitting, more work, more school.
• • • June
Lots of work and studying and long days. Late nights at work with epic coworkers. Day at the lake with my mama (spoiler: I got TOASTED). Epic weekend at the beach with my people. <3 More work. More always being tired. More studying. Rewatched Outer Banks because #JJ. ;P
• • • July
Working the weekend of the 4th and trying not to die. FIREWORKS. Buying cute clothes that I'll likely never/rarely wear. Housesitting for over 2 weeks. Rainbows and sunsets and curly hair and lots of coffee. Oh, and finishing the summer semester without dying, yayyy me. I turn 21 next week, what the heck.
So yeah. There's that. Some days it feels like everything is happening at once and somedays it feels like nothing is moving at all. But it's good and messy and beautiful. More and more I find myself desperately trying to hold onto the tiny, special moments before they're gone, and far too often I fail to miserably. But it's okay. Life goes on. We get more chances, and we still have the memories.
I feel like I should end this totally disorganized, chaotic ramble by promising that I'm going to get back on track or saying I'll be around more, but I honestly can't. I can't say that because I have no idea if I'll be able to stick to it. Less than a year from now I'll graduate college and I have no idea what life will look like (specifically) after that.
So am I back? Not really. Am I still writing? Not really, although I dearly want to. Will I share more stories one day? Absolutely. But when? No idea.
I'm genuinely trying to be okay with all these questions and uncertainties and "I don't know yets". Because I know they won't last forever, and I don't wanna miss a single second of here and now by wishing for tomorrow and the next day.
Until next time, I hope you all are doing well (assuming anyone actually still reads this blog). Drop a comment or shoot me a message, and let me know how things are going in your life these days. I'd love to hear. <3
Teach me Thy way, O Lord; I will walk in Thy truth: unite my heart to fear Thy name. // psalm 86:11
