When Your Own Words Aren't Enough

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

I am not skilled to understand what God has willed, what God has planned. I only know at His right hand, stands One who is my Savior. 

I don't know what You're doing, but I know Who You are. 

Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can't heal. 

I know Who Holds tomorrow. 

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; 
We are perplexed, but not in despair;
Persecuted, but not forsaken; 
Cast down, but not destroyed;
Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, 
That the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
- 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 


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God is still good. He is patient and faithful, even when we don't understand His plan. A family that my family is close friends with suffer a tragic loss this week. Please remember them and all the family and friends in your prayers. My heart breaks for them. <3

Fearless.

I don't know what to write. I sit here, scrolling through my draft posts (and trust me, there's plenty), but I don't know what to write. I don't know what I want to write.

There's so much going on in my state and country and world this week, and as much as I feel like I should join in the barrage of coronavirus centered articles, I don't want to. I've talked about it with family and friends and co-workers until I'm tired of talking about. I've researched and analyzed until I drove myself crazy with it.

I'm tired of the fear and the panic and the chaos. I'm tired of the memes—even though some of them are...really funny. I'm tired of news articles—often contradicting each other. I'm tired of the arguments. I'm tired of the constant change in what is and isn't "allowed" as far as gatherings and events.

But here's the thing. I'm choosing to not be suffocated by the panic and alarm and frustration that surrounds this pandemic labeled "COVID-19." I specify labeled because, in my belief, the disease isn't the basis of the problem—fear is.

Yes, fear. That four-letter F-word that we don't like to think about.

So maybe that's what I'm really here to say. The panic, the hoarding, the chaos and confusion—it doesn't stem from a illness that's characterized by a fever and cough. It's created by the fear we allow to overtake us when we focus on the sickness instead of the Healer.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.   // 2 Timothy 1:7 kjv

As Christians, we shouldn't live burdened by fear. That's not how God intended for us to live our lives—before, during, or after COVID-19 has ran its course.

Things are crazy right now, I know. And I could be wrong, but I believe this won't last long. By the end of the year, we'll be able to look back on the month when stores were selling out of everything and remember the good aspects of these days instead of dwelling on the fear and turmoil.

If you're frightened by the events transpiring in the world over the past few days and weeks, that's totally understandable—it's a lot to take in at once. The important thing is to not allow that anxiety to control you.

Spend time with the Savior, and allow His presence and His word to remind you again and again that it's going to be okay. We serve a God that is so much greater than any pandemic, stock market dive, or nation in distress.

Through it all, life goes on, and we go on too. Tomorrow, the sun will rise and people will go to work (some of us, anyway). We'll talk and laugh and yawn and sneeze. We'll learn something new or reminisce about days gone by. We'll read books or watch television. We'll make jokes and remind our family members we love them.

And we'll be okay.

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.   // Psalm 46:10 kjv 

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.   // John 14:27 kjv

To sum it up—God's got this, so we have no need to fear. Wash your hands. Prayer for those effected. Use necessary precaution. By all means, quit hoarding toilet paper. And be fearless.

thoughts, good or bad? opinions, agreeing or not?

What I'm Writing | Chasing a Dream

17,346

That's the current word count total of Chasing a Dream.

(And yes, I'm rambling about this to y'all when I could/would/should be writing. *maybe sorta possibly hasn't written in like ten days* But I have literally no inspiration, so. Excuses prevail. Blog post it is.)

Honestly, I'm pleased with this number—and a little surprised by it, too. There's been more than a few times over the past year or so when I wondered if this little wannabe story would ever amount to anything worth talking about.

But it is, y'all. It's growing and morphing and becoming something bigger and better and with more meaning (in my opinion, anyway) than I ever anticipated. It's a complex story, with real characters, and a purposeful theme.

This weekend is the annual local rodeo that my family has attended many times over the years. We're planning to go again this year, assuming nothing comes up and there's not a cancelation. (Lots of events are being cancelled since we've been declared in a "state of emergency" *headdesk*)  This is the same rodeo, though, which spurned the idea for CaD into existence.

Considering that, and how it's been nearly an entire year since this story started as just a little idea and a few random thoughts, and how weird and beautiful and crazy and wonderful life is has put me in an introspective mood.

So here I sit, 12:23 am, when I could be sleeping or writing or reading. But what am I doing? Thinking about a story. Thinking about a story casted with people who aren't real. Well, at least the people aren't real. But maybe the story is, for someone, somewhere. Maybe it makes sense—it's relatable—to someone. And maybe that's why it's all worth it.

Maybe that person is you, or maybe it's not. But that's okay. Because I'm writing it anyway. For myself, and for that one person who may be out there somewhere in need of a story that'll remind them it's going to be okay.

Snippet: 

The young bull starts into a tight death spin, a technique his line of ancestors are known for. He bucks while spinning in a circle, utilizing centrifugal force to sling me off his back.  

Another harsh buck and I’m flying through the air. I plummet to the sunbaked earth with a thud that knocks the air from my lungs. Coughing and choking, I wait until I can breathe easier before attempting to push to my feet. My head spins as I stand, but I take a few deep breaths and push through it.  

Behind me, Wyatt loops a lead rope around the bull’s and guides him out of the corral. He knows I have no intention of trying it again this evening. Not after that sorry excuse for a dismount.  

I cast a glance in Nelson’s direction. He’s slowly shaking his head as he watches me walk across the corral towards him. Dang it. He’s not impressed.  

Irritation wells up in me. The old cowboy might be known for the bulls he raises, but several decades have passed since the last time he was the one climbing unto the animal’s back.  

As I approach, Ryder struggles to keep a straight face, but Nelson eyes me with a look I can’t read.  

“So?” I lean my arms onto the fence next to him, squinting up at the elder cowboy’s worn face in the sunlight. “What do you think?”  

“You’re gonna have to do better than that if you’re gonna make it in the rodeo world.”  

No one ever accused this man of being anything short of brutally honest. 

are you excited for Chasing a Dream?